“Hello My name is Dominic Drake. I was born in Sector-7 Block Sierra, And I am a sexaholic.”
Support groups for your average human is usually filled with whining cheaters who are convinced that their illicit affairs and roguish romps have to be a sex addiction obviously. And normally I would have had at least 6 of the women there in my bed by weeks end and some times three at a time. My admissions and photographic proof and sometimes a well orchestrated DVD confession of my miss-deeds would have elicited gasps of surprise, and mews of pleasure. Pale faces at the blood letting, and Nervous sweat at the positions of sex accomplished by Stifled screaming women. But this is a special meeting.. my last one. They chorused back my name and a few offered to get the white board or the audio video equipment. I waved them off and stood at the podium.
“Ladies and gentleman of the sex-addicts support group, I came to you a certified freak, who had sex with well many of you here and well many of your wives.” a few stumbled applause , a couple of smiling female faces and many pissed off male glares not to mention a couple of hateful looks from lesbians. “I wasn’t picky about where I stuck it and who, but I am now a man with a new lease on life and a retracted court order.”
I smiled waved and spun around to see the angry face of Lilian Atwood staring into my chest and slowly look up into my eyes, as I cast mine down on her “Hi, Lilian,” the hush from the support group was nerve wracking , several voices quipped about an imminent ass whooping, which drew her attention and her stare. in perfect, professional,dull, monotone voice.
“you pompous, self centered, egotistical, wanna be gift to a uterus. You came here often reeking of several sexual encounters and now just because the judge signed off on your case you think you can just leave.?” her middle finger was poking my chest and after feeling little resistance she started stroking my chest and abdomen. All the while still looking angry and a glimmer of something else could be seen in her big green eyes, hidden behind prescription glasses. I take the opportunity to grasp her hands and drop to one knee. “Dearest Lilian, I shall miss you the most, your ample breasts, your rounded hips and superb ass, you entertained my mind and my cock many a night during many a lonely hour.” with her stunned silence i kiss her deeply and passionately and stand up to bow before the others and stride from the room.
“Lt. Drake did you have to kiss her?”
the deep voice of a golem came after me as I approached the solitary weapons locker placed there just for me by the courts of Sedgwick county Kansas. I didn’t even turn to meet his unhappy frown and raised eyebrow, I was a state authorized slayer of things supernatural, and sanctioned by the white house as a member of the prestigious monster hunter assault force. Private contractors who were payed to stop the intrusion and malicious acts brought upon by the dimensional rift that appeared here in the mid-west during the early 2000’s. I was born in the rift as a result of my mother living near it and being sucked in only to be impregnated by my father a local of the rift and pretty much an evil rapist bastard. I grew up relatively normal compared to the other children born of the rift. I looked human, I sound human, but I am far older than this worlds recorded history. Three thousand years ago I came to this world a babe and I grew to the man I am today.. “God help the human race.”
I strap on my swords and guns and armor and present myself to my partner; B.O.B an advanced service Golem, he had been a statue near Wichita State University and the first initial explosion from the formation of the rift brought him to life. His entire being has somehow been geared for the protection of the human race. His appearance sparked fear and many prayers from locals. To bad for them he was holding a child and at his feet the lifeless body of my mother, before the scene turn into mob rules the denizens of the rift emerged and almost instantly the world stopped and stared at this small city on the brink of a major discovery. Back then B.O.B was made of iron. And they decided to try and have us live in a internment camps till they decided what was to be done with us. We were all interviewed back then, except for me they wanted to examine the child born in the rift whose mother was obviously of human origin, they dated her belongings to a tribe that was believed extinct three thousand years ago and when they used their machines on me they discovered that I was different. No needle or scalpel could penetrate my skin and they discovered that my body aged in mere weeks to that of a thirty year old man and stopped, my strength, speed and stamina was higher than normal human norms, much higher and bob never left my side. They tried soldiers and threats and even a armored tank, and in his deep soothing voice he told them he swore an oath to my mother to keep me safe, and to never leave my side. He will out live even your sun and moon and can not ever be harmed b by mere mortal weapons. The years went by and I turned from over night sensation to government headache. Fights, drunken brawls resulting in costly repair bills and hospital stays for hapless patrons determined to prove my immortality wrong. And when the murders started happening and the rift widened, new and unusual life emerged , the elves , dwarves and the dragon kings. Each adapted into this new environment, The elves instantly started fixing the planets war on global warming, the dwarves taught the government how to melt pure silver and new innovations to mining and gathering resources. But the dragons they had other things in mind, the dragons loved the smell of politics here, and even how easily money buys power and influence. The dragons paid off the nations debt and established the first world bank and lending corporation. Placing a dragon eyrie in every capitol around the world. I was trained to use new weapons and was enlisted by the United States government to help quell the surge of rift based crimes on American soil.
Of course here we are years later me addicted to female hormones like a drug and a dangerous band of assassin dark elves are after congressional leaders. “Drake, we have a clear lead on their whereabouts but we need, military access into the green zone.”the now that Willie was a vampire, the expendable part didn’t count anymore. But he was still selling information and running errands. No, death hadn’t changed him much. But just in case I avoided looking directly into his eyes. It was standard policy for dealing with vampires. He was a slime bucket, but now he was an undead slime bucket. It was a new category for me. I felt his powerful grasp on my shoulder, and still refused to look at him. “I know it is habit for you to flaunt your sexuality, but try to remember they are merely mortal and we are their protectors. and without a magic population of their own, it is up to us to protect them from the terrors of the rift.” I turn and stare into his glowing amber eyes “does that include me B.O.B , does that order also include me damnit. Will I too be sanctioned if I loose my head again, old friend?” for a creature well over nine feet tall and the strength of five hundred elephants his touch can be gentle and hurtful even to my immortal muscled frame. His frown formed a smile “negative Lt. Drake, your purpose is needed and so is your strength. But remember we are the first line of defense and we must make sure to honor the humans who allow us to live amongst them. Regardless of some of their kinds racist and religious views of our kind.” Sometimes hearing B.O.B speak was some what soothing and calmed me down considerably. I gotta remember to wear earplugs the next time he starts a lets honor the humans speech again. “ok B.O.B enough swapping spit in the shower whats the SITrep with the dark elves we chased out of hilltop?”
my cell-com wristband chimed to life as a hologram of our local liaison appeared , the court dropped all charges of public nudity and having an orgy on a city bus, but if you step out of line again Lt. Drake I will drop your ass in a pit of molten steel and hang you from my wall like portrait of idiotic lust. Do you read me Lt.” the angry voice of ambassador Gomez made me wince and laugh.” But Ambassador on your wall I will be well hung.” even B.O.B liked that joke, but the fun was short lived. “Get this the assistant to Congressman Jerry Moran was found dead in an abandoned house in Junction city by Local LEO’s no missing organs but he was